


The Sweetest Submission

by spockandawe



Series: Between Two Lungs [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Aftercare, Canon Asexual Character, Established Relationship, Kink Exploration, M/M, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Sexual Content, Transcribed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:08:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spockandawe/pseuds/spockandawe
Summary: MARTINAgain, Jon? Every time?ARCHIVISTWell. Only… occasionally, I would say.MARTIN(laughs)So… yes, every time. It is fine, you know. Only it's a little silly, don't you think?
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Series: Between Two Lungs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1628680
Comments: 14
Kudos: 165





	The Sweetest Submission

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://spockandawe.tumblr.com/post/190743505526)/[Twitter](https://twitter.com/spockandawe/status/1226654442306580481)

[TAPE CLICKS ON.]

**MARTIN**  
Again, Jon? Every time?

**ARCHIVIST**  
Well. Only… occasionally, I would say.

**MARTIN**  
 _(laughs)_ So… yes, every time. It is fine, you know. Only it's a little silly, don't you think?

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(slightly embarrassed)_ I'd say that it's an interesting historical record that we'll both appreciate having the ability to revisit at a later date.

**MARTIN**  
And just a little bit silly, yes.

[PAUSE.]

**MARTIN (CONT'D)**  
Honest, I don't mind. I'd feel a little ridiculous getting upset over being _recorded_ after so long at the Institute. At least here it'll be recording something… nice. Instead of something horrifying, I mean.

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(sighs)_ Yes, well, and even if I didn't press the button myself, it might very well have started recording the moment neither of us was looking.

**MARTIN**  
That too.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Besides, in this case, I think it's particularly… appropriate. Do you think you'd be up to providing some context for how we reached this point?

**MARTIN**  
 _(surprised)_ Oh, I— Of course. Should I…?

**ARCHIVIST**  
Statement of Martin Blackwood, regarding his relationship with the Archivist, Jonathan Sims.

**MARTIN**  
 _(audibly pleased)_ Oh. _Relationship._

**ARCHIVIST**  
Did— Did you think…?

**MARTIN**  
 _(unperturbed)_ It's just nice to hear, that's all.

Since you asked, well… I suppose a lot of what’s going on with you and me goes back to that first time you and I, ah, slept together. And that part of things is on the record, of course, as well as every other encounter we had— 

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(overlapping)_ Every other _occasional_ encounter.

**MARTIN**  
Of course. But you and I had, you know, things to sort out and discuss and such, and some of that is recorded on those tapes, but some of it happened at other times. Even though I don’t think those were conversations you especially _wanted_ to have.

**ARCHIVIST**  
No, not particularly.

**MARTIN**  
But I still think it’s for the best we had them.

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(sigh)_ Yes, probably.

**MARTIN**  
And one of the things that we worked out is that you’re, you’re not getting the— I don’t quite know how to say this, but I think on principle I’m not going to compare it to the laundry. You don’t mind participating, but you’re not getting the _sex_ out of sex, maybe.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Hm. Or I don’t feel much of a need to _have sex_ in the way you do, perhaps.

**MARTIN**  
 _(embarrassed)_ ‘Need’ is coming on a bit strong, I think, but that’s the general idea. 

We sorted that out without too much trouble, but those other conversations— Basically, I wasn’t interested if this was just going to be a one-sided situation. Which is why ‘need’ seems a little unfair to me. I wanted to, to be sure that you were getting something… nice. Out of the whole thing. Sorting that out was the tricky part.

_(even more embarrassed)_ Jon, you know this isn’t the easiest thing to talk about, even without a recording going.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Do you mean you want to… stop?

**MARTIN**  
I’m saying that you can help some with this bit. Just a little. It’s not _just_ difficult to talk about, or _just_ that it’s embarrassing, but it makes it all that much worse that I’m trying to describe your inner workings to your face while you’re also recording me at the same time.

**ARCHIVIST**  
This _is_ your statement, but I suppose that strict protocol doesn’t really matter that much at this point.

_(exhale)_ Let me see. What _I_ get out of sex. I’ve never found the… physical act to be particularly compelling. But from my perspective, that does add to the mystery of the whole experience. I know what sex means to _me_ , but that clearly isn’t what it means to any number of other people.

The long and short of it is that I am rather interested in learning that information. I can gather a bit, from people I’ve slept with in the past, or from written accounts. But I was still in school the last time I bothered attempting to capture that… sexual spark myself, and I think I’ve absorbed all I can from other people’s reports. None of that is the same as being aware of the nature of my own interest, working with a partner who is also… equally aware.

Now, Martin. How exactly do you play into this?

**MARTIN**  
 _(nervous laugh)_ Yes, I’m— I’m that equally aware partner in this situation. I suppose I’ve been trained into it, after so long at the Institute. I spent ages where my job was supposed to be helping you collect information and answer any questions that came up. It’s practically second nature at this point.

So you, you asked me all kinds of things at first, about what it _felt_ like, or what I was _thinking_ at any given point. But what I could tell you there didn’t seem as… coherent as it might have been. It’s, ah, difficult to keep things straight sometimes, in a situation like that.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Understandable. What did I ask you after that?

**MARTIN**  
 _(unsteady breath)_ You asked me about my fantasies.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Mm.

**MARTIN**  
There were— There were a lot, especially since you asked me directly. _(laugh)_ And then kept asking ‘what else?’ every time I paused for air.

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(mildly sulky)_ I _did_ say that I was sorry about that. I’d… forgotten. How that all worked.

**MARTIN**  
I know. But you have to admit, it still is pretty funny. 

And, um. _(exhale)_ What you, what you wanted to focus on tonight. It, ah. It was just a silly thing, that I imagined sometimes. And really, I didn’t think anything would ever come of it. I think the first time it came up was… well, a while back. Shortly after I began working with you, but before I really _knew_ you. Because once I got to know you better, it all seemed a bit pointless, because it wasn’t ever going to be relevant.

This isn’t easy to say into a tape recorder, you know. I hope you realize that.

**ARCHIVIST**  
I’m aware, and I do appreciate the effort.

**MARTIN**  
 _(embarrassed)_ You see, it, ah— The general idea of it was that I’d be down on my knees in front of you, and you’d be, well. Sometimes you’d be giving me orders and telling me what to do, which wasn’t exactly difficult to picture, all things considered. But over time, as I got to be more, more— As I got to know you, it was more often that I’d just be… doing whatever you liked best. You’d be right there and I’d just be on my knees making everything— good for you.

_(more quickly)_ And, and once I knew you well enough to realize that wasn’t something you’d be interested in, it all felt pretty silly, of course. But by that time the picture was there in my head, and all very vivid, and it was— nice to imagine, sometimes.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Does it change things at all, that I’m here now, expressing interest?

**MARTIN**  
Not, not especially, I suppose. _(nervous laugh)_ No more than any other time. It’s still all a bit surreal, but not in a _bad_ way. Only— I’m a little curious, myself. I’d written this off a _long_ time ago, because it’s, it’s a very one-sided idea, don’t you think? If you’re not so interested in the sex, but then you’re the only one— If you know what I mean. It would be very convenient if you knew what I was trying to say, because it’s not easy to put into words.

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(drily)_ I think I’m following you. 

[PAUSE.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
It is a difficult question to articulate, I agree. Which I am aware of, because it’s approximately the same question I want to ask you. Not in words, as such, so I’ll try not to do that now. If it’s this difficult to ask, I expect it won’t be much easier to answer, and it seems like it would be an unfortunate time to _compel_ you to speak. But it seems like a scenario in which neither of us would be getting the thing we’re the most interested in, and I believe I’m having as much difficulty understanding your perspective as you are in understanding mine, which is why I find myself very curious about the whole thing.

**MARTIN**  
You… want to know _why_ I would imagine this?

**ARCHIVIST**  
Precisely. I think we have it well established between the two of us that the act of sex is… compelling to you in a way that it isn’t to me. But in this fantasy, it seems you give _without_ receiving in any way. Is that correct?

**MARTIN**  
 _(one laugh)_ Yes, I suppose. It sounds even more silly when you put it like that, but I wouldn’t have thought it was an unusual fantasy before then.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Even after you’d guessed about my own… preferences?

[MARTIN STARTS TO SPEAK, THEN HESITATES.]

**MARTIN**  
I don’t think that came into it at all, really. It was already something that I was imagining without really expecting it to happen, so that was just another layer of imagination. 

**ARCHIVIST**  
Mm. I think the central question—which I will attempt to ask without posing it as an actual _query—_ is that… I would like to understand what the appeal of that fantasy was. I would like to understand what, precisely, was gratifying to you in picturing that sequence of events.

**MARTIN**  
 _(laughs)_ Well, you already made it fairly clear that you’d like to observe that ‘sequence of events’ in action, so I, I guess we’re going to be moving on to that shortly. But I suppose you’d like me to try explaining it now as well?

**ARCHIVIST**  
If you would be so good.

**MARTIN**  
It’s— I think it’s the idea of making someone feel good, without it being… a give and take. It’s not that I do something for you while you return the favor. Maybe you’ll do something nice for me later, or maybe you won’t, but right then, I’m _just_ focused on you, and on making things as good for you as I possibly can. 

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about it that just sticks with me. You’re focused on me while I’m focused on you, but you aren’t _doing_ anything, you’re just watching. _(nervous laugh)_ So maybe it isn’t that strange a fantasy after all. When I pictured it, sometimes you’d be telling me what felt best, or what you wanted me to do, but I think— I’d, I’d imagine silly things like hearing your breath catch, or maybe I did something that made your hips jerk, and it would be _almost_ too much, but not quite, and then you would be so pleased that I could handle it… 

Jon, if I die of embarrassment, I want you to know that I blame you completely. _(another laugh)_ This really isn’t fair, I’m trying to think of any way I could possibly pay you back, but I don’t think anything I could do to you would measure up to this.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Well, with any luck, in a few minutes you’ll be so distracted that you forget all about taking your revenge on me. _(hesitates)_ Is there anything I ought to be doing to contribute to the, ah, fantasy? Any part I ought to play?

**MARTIN**  
No parts, please. Just… yourself. Only, only if— _(exhales)_ If you could— Tell me. What feels best, what I ought to be doing, that would be helpful. _(shaky laugh)_ Just a bit of direction, so I know what I’m doing is, is good for you.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Of course.

[WE HEAR VERY LITTLE FOR A MOMENT, THEN THE SOUND OF A SOFT KISS. ONE PERSON SIGHS, UNSTEADILY, AND THEN THE KISSES CONTINUE. THEY BECOME MORE HEATED, GRADUALLY, UNTIL THEY BREAK APART.]

**ARCHIVIST**  
You’ll want to be kneeling now, I think.

**MARTIN**  
 _(shaky)_ Right, yes, I— Right.

[THE FLOOR CREAKS SLIGHTLY AS HE SETTLES INTO PLACE.]

**MARTIN (CONT’D)**  
Should I—?

**ARCHIVIST**  
Yes.

[WE HEAR THE SOUND OF A ZIPPER, THEN MARTIN TAKES AN UNSTEADY BREATH.]

**MARTIN**  
It’s, it’s been a while since I’ve done this, just so you know.

**ARCHIVIST**  
I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

[THERE IS A QUIET NOISE FROM MARTIN. AFTER A MOMENT, WE BEGIN TO HEAR SOFT, MUFFLED SOUNDS.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
There you go. No need to worry at all. It’s a little early for us to be drawing any final conclusions, but I’d say that you’re off to an excellent start.

[FOR SEVERAL SECONDS, THE ONLY THING WE HEAR IS THOSE QUIET NOISES.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
I don’t plan to try collecting any observations from you… in the moment, as it were, unless the situation changes unexpectedly. And I’m sure I’ll have questions for you after the fact. But— Since I’m not sure how well you can see, and as it seemed to be a key element of the fantasy, I want you to know that I am watching you very, _very_ closely right now.

[MARTIN MAKES A HIGH-PITCHED, INDISTINCT SOUND.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
Yes, I thought that might be important. Even without being able to question you directly as to _why_ you would feel this way, it’s more than clear that you’re certainly enjoying the experience thus far. _(hesitates)_ And it occurs to me that I ought to inform you that _I_ am enjoying it as well. The explanations you gave me were certainly informative, but it is a much more… _visceral_ learning experience to see the fantasy put into practice.

[WE HEAR VERY FAINT STATIC.]

And I know… I _know_ that you are completely focused on me right now. I can tell— You’re listening to what I’m saying, yes, but you’re also paying close attention to how I react when you do anything, you’re remembering our past encounters, trying to think of what might be best for me right now— _(not surprised, but with a tone of discovery)_ You are trying your very best, aren’t you?

[THERE IS THE NOISE OF FABRIC SHIFTING AND THE SOUND OF A ZIPPER.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
Ah— No, I don’t think so. Not right now. _(gently teasing)_ The fantasy, as described, was that you gave me your full attention while not directly receiving anything yourself, correct? This is a different scenario, and clearly, one that we shall have to experiment with directly at a later date.

**MARTIN**  
 _(voice shaking_ ) Jon, _Jon,_ I— 

**ARCHIVIST**  
Would you like to stop?

**MARTIN**  
 _(immediately)_ No.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Here we go, then. Let’s get this all arranged.

[WE HEAR MARTIN BREATHING RAGGEDLY AS THE ARCHIVIST SPEAKS.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
You’ve got your one hand on me already, so that’s sorted. The other hand— Why don’t you put that on my waist, right there. So that you don’t, ah, _forget._ In the moment.

**MARTIN**  
 _(one breathless laugh)_ Is it— Is it good, then?

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(overlapping)_ Absolutely.

[MARTIN TAKES AN UNSTEADY BREATH, AND THEN WE HEAR THE SOFT SOUNDS BEGIN AGAIN.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
There you go. That’s _very_ good.

[WE HEAR MARTIN MAKE A MUFFLED, NONVERBAL SOUND.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
That is an important piece of this, I think. The fantasy begins with these, ah, attentions. And it continues with you giving me your complete focus, while receiving nothing physical in return. But then… It matters that I recognize your efforts. But it seems to matter even _more_ that I express that to you, verbally and directly. It has a clear effect on you when I tell you that you’re doing a wonderful job, that you’re doing _so_ well— 

[MARTIN MAKES A MORE STRAINED, HIGH-PITCHED NOISE, THEN CHOKES.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
 _Easy,_ easy— _(pause)_ That’s better. Not too— Not too _much._ You’re already doing well, I’m not telling you to try even harder. I, I do still want this experience to be pleasant for you. And pleasurable. _(slightly distracted)_ Which does raise the questions of, ah, _alternative_ definitions of ‘pleasurable’, but that’s a conversation we would need to have another time, I think.

_(back in focus)_ There. Now, let me just— It is rather awkward having nothing at all to do with my hands. Is this alright with you?

[MARTIN MAKES A NONVERBAL AFFIRMATIVE NOISE.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
Though I want to be explicit that I’m not going to be taking control in any way. Everything is still up to your, ah, personal discretion. It seems to me that in the context of this… scenario, taking the reins might seem like an indication that I was unsatisfied with your performance in some way, and I want to make it clear that this is not the case. As long as I’m certain you aren’t going to accidentally hurt yourself, there isn’t anything I would change. _(pleased sigh)_ I’m going to have so many _questions_ for you when this is all over, but for now, I’m certainly not going to interrupt your performance for that.

And I’d also like you to know— Even without _knowing_ how hard you’re trying, I’d be able to tell, just from watching you. It’s quite a picture, you know. I wish I could share it with you directly. I can tell how hard you’re focusing, just how much attention you’re giving to me. And I can tell you myself how much that focus and attention is paying off. Even if this isn’t the aspect of, of sex I tend to appreciate the most, this has certainly been an informative and enjoyable way to pass the time together. And it’s an experience I’d be more than happy to repeat in the future. You’re doing _so well_ right now, just imagine how well you’ll do the next time. After this is over, I’ll need to ask you about what other things you’d like to hear from me— 

[WE HEAR MARTIN SUDDENLY PULL AWAY FROM THE ARCHIVIST. HE TAKES ONE SHUDDERING BREATH, THEN ANOTHER. FOR A LONG MOMENT, HE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING, ONLY BREATHES.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
 _(slowly, concerned)_ Martin, have I— have I done something wrong?

**MARTIN**  
No.

[PAUSE. THE SILENCE IS TENSE. THE ONLY NOISE IS MARTIN’S BREATHING, WHICH IS STILL UNSTEADY. HE SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO CONTROL IT, WITHOUT MUCH LUCK.]

**ARCHIVIST**  
Is there something I… ought to be doing?

**MARTIN**  
No, not really. I— sorry. Just a moment.

**ARCHIVIST**  
I’m not going to _ask_ anything until I know it’s— alright. But so you’re aware, I really would like to ask you what’s— 

[PAUSE. FAINT STATIC.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
 _(distant)_ Oh. The problem was me telling you that you were doing well. It was good at first, but then it all started to, to connect back to other memories. Worse ones, times when— 

**MARTIN**  
 _(audibly distressed, trying not to cry)_ Jon, _please—_

**ARCHIVIST**  
Oh— _Hell._ Martin, I, I didn’t mean to— 

**MARTIN**  
 _(still trying not to cry)_ I know you didn’t. Just, it’s only, can you please—

**ARCHIVIST**  
I’ll try. _Damn._ Martin, I am _so_ sorry. Listen, I, I’m not going to ask directly, and I’m trying not to know anything you’re not telling me— What if I— I’m, I’m considering getting down there with you, if you’re able to tell me— If you’re able to tell me whether that’s a bad idea or not.

**MARTIN**  
It’s fine.

[IMMEDIATELY, WE HEAR THE FLOOR CREAK AS THE ARCHIVIST GOES DOWN TO HIS KNEES.]

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(softly)_ And would you— I mean, _if_ you’d like to come here— 

[THE FLOOR CREAKS AGAIN, AND WE HEAR CLOTH RUSTLING.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
There you go. I’ve got you.

**MARTIN**  
 _(muffled, clearly weeping but trying to hold it back)_ I’m sorry.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Please don’t be. I think credit for that mistake belongs entirely to me.

**MARTIN**  
Still, I, I— It was good, until it wasn’t. I don’t know why I— 

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(very gentle)_ We don’t need to worry about that right this moment, I don’t think. Plenty of time to sort that out later, whenever you’d like to go back to it.

**MARTIN**  
 _(still muffled, still distressed)_ I didn’t even— I didn’t even give you the chance to, to finish— 

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(gentle, but very dry)_ I do promise that is very low on my list of priorities at the moment. That’s… another thing that we can sort out later, if you still think it needs to be addressed then.

[THERE IS SEVERAL SECONDS OF SILENCE WHILE MARTIN CONTINUES TRYING TO CONTROL HIS BREATHING.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
Better?

**MARTIN**  
 _(unsteady, but no longer audibly crying)_ A bit, I think.

**ARCHIVIST**  
No rush, of course. But at some point, we might consider relocating to the sofa, or something similar. Somewhere more comfortable than the floor, generally speaking.

**MARTIN**  
 _(weak laugh)_ Of course. Just… give me a moment.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Certainly.

[PAUSE.]

**ARCHIVIST (CONT’D)**  
 _(sharp inhale)_ Martin— Dammit, I’d forgotten— _(brief pause)_ The tape recorder.

**MARTIN**  
 _(unhappy, more distressed than before)_ It’s still recording, isn’t it.

**ARCHIVIST**  
Yes. I should have remembered— _(deliberate breath)_ Is it alright for me to go switch it off? Or do you still want me here?

**MARTIN**  
It can wait a moment. I— I’m almost ready. To move to the sofa, I mean. 

**ARCHIVIST**  
I’ll overwrite it later. I’m sure I have a statement lying around somewhere. Or you know what, it doesn’t even matter, I’ll just record whatever comes into my head, it doesn’t make a difference.

**MARTIN**  
 _(slightly unsteady, but sounding better)_ Hang on a moment. You were so pleased we were getting the opportunity to record this— _this._ You don’t need to turn around and erase it all just because things went wrong at the end.

[WE HEAR THE FLOOR CREAK AS ONE PERSON STANDS, THEN THE OTHER.]

**ARCHIVIST**  
That’s hardly the material point, is it. I’ve already got enough questionable… _instincts_ about what things I ought to record, I don’t need to be encouraging them like this.

**MARTIN**  
That’s not really the same thing, though. What happened to having a historical record we could revisit in the future?

**ARCHIVIST**  
Do you really want to argue about this?

**MARTIN**  
 _(still shaky, but with a hint of a smile)_ Yes, actually.

**ARCHIVIST**  
 _(heavy sigh, but with clear fondness)_ Alright. But really, at least let me stop the recording now. I’ll put the kettle on for you, we can curl up with a blanket, and then we can have a nice little argument together, I suppose.

[TAPE CLICKS OFF.]

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://spockandawe.tumblr.com/post/190743505526)/[Twitter](https://twitter.com/spockandawe/status/1226654442306580481)


End file.
